If People Were Horses:
When we gathered around the dinner table the meanest one would get dessert first. Then the mean one would get to walk around the table and eat off everybody's plate and it would be considered good manners.
If our ribs were showing nobody would call it a "bikini body," they would call a rescue organization.
The bigger our butt the more desirable we'd be.
When our Grandma calls us "big-boned," it's a good thing.
If we didn't like somebody we could scream and kick them. Nobody would get arrested or question our motives.
If we DID like somebody we could still scream and kick them and we'd be forgiven.
When the mean girls in the clique snubbed us we could eventually win them over by following them around and looking sad. Then we could scream and kick them too.
Being big, fat, crabby and mean would only make you more popular.
Communication would be so much simpler.
If a woman didn't like a man she would scream and kick him.
If she did like him she would scream, kick him and then pee on the floor.
No conversation, no flowers, just scream, kick and pee.